Sunday, August 10, 2008

Happy Birthday Mom!

This post is all about my mom. I lost her to lung cancer on April 4, 2008. My life hasn’t been the same since. Her birthday is Monday, August 11 and I so want her to be here to celebrate her life with her.

My mom was my best friend. I called her every day to see how she was doing. Somehow, every day, we’d find something to talk about. We never ran out of things to say.

She’d come to our house often for Christmas, something I always looked forward to despite just a hint of dread of having someone to entertain for two weeks. She was, after all, my mom and she owned a little piece of me. She even taught me how to make Christmas cookies when I was very young.

We lived together for about 10 years before she moved to Sacramento. It was a great time, and it was a rough time. By the time she was ready to move to Sacramento, we were both ready to be apart from each other. It makes sense that at some point, mother and daughter are not meant to live together. It also makes sense that at some point, it is time for them to be together again. This I learned from Mom.

Mom was an integral part of my daughter’s upbringing. It was like my daughter had two moms; the “cool” mom (which was me of course!) and the “grandma” mom. My mom helped raise my daughter for those 10 years we lived together and a fine job she did. My daughter is a wonderful person now that she’s grown and definitely the product of her mom (me) and grandmother. I know that my daughter has a little piece of herself missing now that “gammy” is gone.

When I told Mom I was going to marry my husband, she was so happy. I could hear it in her voice when she asked incredulously, “you are?”. She liked my husband…he made her laugh just like he does me.

Mom, I want to tell you that you were an incredible woman and mother. You did a great job with your kids and we hope that you had a happy and fulfilling life. Yes, sometimes it was hard, but that’s just life. We all know that, don’t we? I learned that from you too.

I miss you incredibly. I cry for you often despite being 50 years old. Hardly a day goes by when I don’t think “I need to call mom” before I realize I can’t. So I talk to you for just a minute my head. But I can’t hear you talking back and that’s hard.

So mom, now that I’ve brought myself to tears once again, I want to wish you a Happy Birthday. My birthday wish for you is that you are happy where you are and that all of your questions have been answered and it is all good. Maybe once in a while you could come chat for a bit. I would really like that.

Happy Birthday Mom! I love you.

1 comment:

Barbee' said...

Hello, I found you on Blotanical and came over to read awhile. Starting with the newest post, I have worked my way down to here and just had to stop and leave a comment. I know what your mean. When my mother died in 1973, the most difficult part for me was that when I spontaneously had something to tell her, I was brought up short with the bitter memory that I could not. Over the years we have 'visited' in my dreams. I hope it gets better for you.

I am enjoying your blog. Thank you for sharing your travels with us, for I know I will never get to see all those sights. I wish there was a photo of the manroot foliage. There is a vine here that is winning the battle. I don't know what it is. Maybe it is manroot. I even wrote a post about it in hopes someone could tell me. I titled it Kudzu? I live in Kentucky.

My local son-in-law brought a young Bird of Paradise home with him from a trip to Hawaii. It still hasn't bloomed. Hope it does as well as yours.